Funny Valentine Poems and More

Search by Keyword

Scroll down for a short collection of Funny Valentine Poems. 

Also see the links at the bottom of this page.


Valentine's Day is a holiday celebrated on February 14th of every year in the Americas and in Europe.

Traditionally on this day, lovers express their love for each other by giving gifts such as cards, flowers, or candy. These gifts are known as valentines.

The colors associated with Valentine's Day are primarily pink and red. The symbols of Valentine's Day are heart-shaped figures and cupids.

The holiday was named after two Christian martyrs, both named Valentine (a rather common name back then). The day became associated with romantic love in the Middle Ages, when the tradition of "courting" was in style.

Not very long ago, a local U.S. newspaper ran a competition asking for Funny Valentine Poems with the most romantic first line, but the least romantic second line. Here are some of the entries they received:

Funny Valentine Poems

I thought that I could love no other

Until, that is, I met your brother.


Roses are red, violets are blue,

sugar is sweet, and so are you.

But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,

the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.


Of loving beauty you float with grace.

If only you could hide your face.


You are my true love, the light of my life.

No one can match you. Not even my wife.


Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;

This describes everything you are not.


I love your smile, your face, your eyes

Damn, I'm good at telling lies!


My luv is like a red, red rose

but rashes clear up, I suppose.


I see your face when I am dreaming.

That is why I wake up screaming.


My love, you take my breath away.

What have you stepped in to smell this way?


My feelings for you no words can tell,

Except for maybe "go to hell."


What inspired this amorous rhyme?

Two parts vodka, one part lime.



Click here for more about United States Holidays.


Look here for Premium Factory Outlets in All 50 States.

For fun things to do anywhere in America, visit Fact and Photo Galleries for All 50 States.

See this page for Air Travel Discount Deals and Low-Cost Lodging in all 50 States and Washington DC.

Click here to get Low-Cost Car Insurance in All 50 States and Washington DC.

Visit this page to learn how to Work From Home Anywhere in America.

Go here to see a complete list of Universities and PhD Programs in All 50 States.

Go here to see Amazon's Top Ten New e-Books