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SHORT FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT STATES
You'll enjoy this list of short funny quotes about states. These are stupid questions that have actually been asked by adult American citizens. We wish we were kidding, but we're not. These questions were discovered through internet searches of every U.S. State, along with quite a few phone calls to hotels and travel bureaus. But before you go making fun of ignorant tourists (known to locals as "tourons"), be aware that just as many of the questions below are asked by local residents, upon meeting someone from another state. People from most parts of the world will have a good laugh here and be reminded, once again, of their intellectual superiority over we, the people of the dumbed-down United States. As for us (and that means U.S.), read 'em and weep, America! Or, failing that, have someone read them TO you. Feel free to submit your own stupid questions via this site's contact page. The best ones will be added to our list. We promise not to mention any names. Stupid Questions About Every StateALABAMA Why do Alabamans have only two front teeth? Does anyone in Alabama wear shoes? Do people from Alabama actually marry their relatives, or is it just a casual fling? ************************************************************** ALASKA What language do they speak in Alaska? Do all Alaskans live in igloos?
What time do they turn on the Northern Lights? Does Alaska have a president? **************************************************** ARIZONA (quotes from the Grand Canyon) How long did it take them to dig the Grand Canyon? We just bought 2 tickets for the elevator to the bottom. Where is it? Does the mule train have air conditioning? *****************************************************
ARKANSAS Do people in Arkansas have grammar? Is Kansas in Arkansas?
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CALIFORNIA
Is everyone there a vegetarian?
Are clothing-optional resorts clean enough for my child?
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COLORADO Does everyone ski to work? ***************************************************** CONNECTICUT Is everyone there all rich and stuck up? How do they know what sports teams to root for? ***************************************************** DELAWARE Is Delaware a state? Is Delaware in Maryland? ***************************************************** FLORIDA Where do people in Florida go on vacation? Why do so many people in Florida talk like they're from the south? Is a giant mosquito really the state bird?
GEORGIA Do Georgians speak Russian? Why was Georgia on Ray Charles' mind? Do special ed schools in Georgia have banjo lessons?
*************************************************************** HAWAII Can Hawaiians speak English? How long does is take to drive to Hawaii? Why does Hawaii seem so Americanized? How do they wash their grass skirts?
*************************************************************** IDAHO Do people in Idaho ever eat pasta? Are African Americans allowed in?
*************************************************************** ILLINOIS Do people in Illinois pronounce the S? Is Illinois near Chicago? *************************************************************** INDIANA Do people in Indiana really churn their own butter? Do people in Indiana really live in a barn?
*************************************************************** IOWA Why do politicians and TV producers care so much what these people think?
Is cow tipping a sport?
KANSAS Was Dorothy really from Kansas? How do people in Kansas have any idea where they are? Do people in Kansas have tornado prevention insurance? Do people in Kansas like being backwards, or can they just not help it? *************************************************************** KENTUCKY What color is blue grass? Are people in the mountains of eastern Kentucky really born with one leg shorter than the other? Are there any book stores in Kentucky? Does Kentucky have the internet? *************************************************************** LOUISIANA Do people from Louisiana really talk like that? Do people in Louisiana know what snow is? Are the crocodiles tame?
*************************************************************** MAINE Do people in Maine wear watches? Do people in Maine eat lobster every day? When you were there, did you live in a lighthouse?
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MARYLAND That's in DC, right? Do people in Maryland eat anything besides crab cakes?
*************************************************************** MASSACHUSETTS Do people who live there know how to spell it?
MICHIGAN
Are there any foreign cars in Michigan? Why do people from Michigan point to their hand to show where they live? Do people in Michigan really look like pez dispensers?
*************************************************************** MINNESOTA
Do people in Minnesota complain about the cold weather?
Does Minnesota have polar bears?
Why do they drive so slow when there's nothing to see?
*************************************************************** MISSISSIPPI Do kids in Mississippi go to school? Do people in Mississippi know about computers? What state do people in Mississippi make fun of? *************************************************************** MISSOURI Do people in Missouri pronounce it Missour-AH? Did St. louis get the idea for the arch from McDonalds?
MONTANA Do people in Montana need heat? Do people in Montana shoot bison for dinner? Do people in Montana, like, not go anywhere?
*************************************************************** NEBRASKA Does Nebraska have indoor plumbing? Do Nebraskans eat corn at every meal?
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NEVADA Does everyone in Nevada gamble for a living? Is there any water there?
*************************************************************** NEW HAMPSHIRE Do people in New Hampshire have jobs? Where's Old Hampshire? *************************************************************** NEW JERSEY Is that where Jersey cows come from?
Is New Jersey jealous of New York?
Do people in New Jersey really pronounce it "Noo JOY-zee?"
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NEW MEXICO Does anyone there speak English? Are all the houses made of dirt and clay? Do people from New Mexico need green cards? *************************************************************** NEW YORK Do New Yorkers really curse people out for no good reason? How many times a day does the average New Yorker get mugged?
(quote from Niagara Falls): How much are tickets for the barrel ride? ***************************************************************
NORTH CAROLINA Why do they call it North Carolina when it's not that far north? Where's just-plain Carolina? ***************************************************************
NORTH DAKOTA Are there actual people in North Dakota or are they just Canadians?
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OHIO Why do they all still wear Ohio State stuff when there's no game going on?
When's Amish season?
*************************************************************** OKLAHOMA Do people in Oklahoma just complain all the time? Do all Oklahomans raise buffalo? Do people in oklahoma know about pro football?
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OREGON Are people from Oregon friendly? Why do they bother having beaches when it's always so gray and cloudy?
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PENNSYLVANIA Does anyone live in Philadelphia on purpose? Is everyone in Pennsylvania Dutch?
*************************************************************** RHODE ISLAND What state is that in? How long does it take to get there by boat?
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SOUTH CAROLINA What does possum taste like?
SOUTH DAKOTA Is tumbleweed really the state flower? Does South Dakota have a Starbucks?
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TENNESSEE Are there any liquor stores or does everyone just make their own?
Is there discrimination against hillbillies in Tennessee's job market?
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TEXAS Do people in Texas go in the Ocean? Do Texans speak Mexican? Do Texans really have cattle and oil wells in their back yards?
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UTAH Do men in Utah have, like, seven wives? Do you have to turn Mormon to move there?
*************************************************************** VERMONT Does everyone live in a cabin? Can you buy maple syrup in Vermont or do you have to make it yourself?
*************************************************************** VIRGINIA Are people from Virginia called Virgins?
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WASHINGTON Did early Native Americans in Washington invent a special dance to make it STOP raining?
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WEST VIRGINIA Have you been to East Virginia?
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WISCONSIN What can they possibly do with all that cheese?
WYOMING Is Cowboy a real job? Is your home on the range? ***************************************************************
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